2) Saw this news recently whereby a young Taiwan artist ( Xu Wei Lun) died in a car accident. Well, I guess it was really remote to me but still a life is still a life. Kinda feel sad for the ger. She was only 28 years old, pretty and talented. Really shed a tear or two when saw the news in SCV, with flashback of her shows, interviews with other close friends and of coz the accident site. It's really a line difference between life and death. Her assistant ,the driver was just beside her, but escaped with mild injuries and probably a shock. Whereas she suffered major brain concussion and immediately coma, and died 2 days later. Well, I dun expect a artist to just die like that, especially such a talented ger [ CLARIFICATION : I dun mean ugly/untalented ger should die like that also lah]. It kinda make me realise that death is not something distant. It could just happen anytime to anyone, unexpectedly. Sound scary huh. Death itself is not the scary part, but rather thinking when someone close to you just suddenly vanish into the air and you can no longer feel, talk or even quarrel anymore...

3) Realised parents are really getting on age. Even if my face can deny my age, people around me are aging, and so I cant fool myself to say I'm still young. Anyway, physically there was really a difference between now and then lah. Now climb a few steps can make me pant like anything. Anyway back to my parents, saw mum bathing niece with her hair clipped up. And all her hair roots were white... hmm, mum had really aged. I tried not to go against her that often now, even though sometimes it was really tough as there would be surely times of bad tempers and disagreements. And she nagged especially taking care of niece. I understand it was difficult to take care of kids. Frankly speaking, if I was in her position, I probably beat my niece like nobody business, so offering a listening ear is all I can offer. Tough really. Especially when niece is screaming, mum is nagging, I just wanna get out of the house. You know something deep inside you know rightfully you should be doing THIS, but somehow you cant control and do THAT instead... ming bai mah?I wanna be a filial daughter also, but sometimes my temper just got the hang of me and I totally throw all the goodies goodies actions that I wanna show to my parents away..

4) Getting older, started to worry about a lot of things. Family, career, future, uncertainty blah blah blah. You called that more sensible? Well, at least I'm thinking about them rather than lead a happy-go-lucky-machiam-spend-one-day-is-a-day attitude. 27 this year! OMG SO BLOODY OLD MAID! If I'm lucky, I would have become a boss, a good marriage and a mother of two! Hmm, that's how 'THEY" define hao ming mah. BUt now, I'm still going from one shit hole to another shit hole , with no clear direction in my career. Marriage? Nothing stabilise yet.. at least I dun think I'm ready in term of finanically, mentally. Mother? Wah pian..that one is really a foreign language to me. I almost strangled my niece .... so well...we all know the answer.

5) Talking abt boss, my Lao Da seems to be waiting for me to tender. Well, it so political in S**T that even a staff resignation could be political impact. I'm under Lao Er, and currently whoever under Lao Er had tendered except for her golden boy. So left me the only pawn. So if I was to quit, it justified Lao Da's point that Lao Er cant manage her staff well! So if I quit, Lao Da definitely more happy. At least that how I interpret from his exit interviews. Instead of persuading staff to stay, he was trying to get them speak out that their reasons to go was due to the mis-management of Lao Er. Win rite? I dunno whether all commerical companies are like that. If so, I guess to start my own business will be better as I dun like to get involve in all these bo liao power fight. Argh.... what the hell are they thinking? Cant they see that the company is not progressing at all? Does it benefit anyone if the company is to collapse??? Heck care...but because of them, I got to start to look for jobs AGAIN!!! Curse them . Curse them. Curse them.

6) When does communication loses its personal touch? Personally, msn and sms are only alternative to real time conversation, but never a substitute. How can happiness/sadness/anger/joy be truely wholly conveyed in a msn or sms msg? Do the sign ;) tell you the degree of happiness for example? So is it just a bit happy or extremely happy? Another example, a word "fine". Is it really fine as in okok, or fine with an angry tone? Such thing can never be conveyed in a toneless IT mode. Instead, the " tone" is interpreted and manipulated by the reader's feelings, rather than the sender. So is it the reader talking to the sender, or talking to oneself? And due to the nature, msg are never conveyed in real time. There will be time lag between sending , receiving and then responding. So if that the case, are we communicating or are we just trying to kill time? I thought communication should be a 2 way on-going traffic flow??

They are basically a lazy way to keep in touch with ppl. Just like friends who you seldom talk and feel uncomfortable to talk now. So the best way is to send a sms to test waters. Well at least, not awakward if that person ask you " huh, who are you? I dunno you leh". Even in the case in MSN, you can even choose to pretend " not around" to someone who msn you anything you like.
So are they a aid or a pest in connecting people to people? I cant really remember when is the last time I chat for hours with a person. I still remember doing that in secondary days. But as one gets older, technology advances, people get busier, we seems to forget the good old days when we can send specially make and handwritten letters, long hours phone porridge.

Time to pen off man.. wow really a bery long blog...keke...