*____don't worry, i'm watching over you___

Thursday, November 29, 2007

A Thought

Was watching the news about the 5 dragon boat national representatives who had, unfortunately, died in Cambodia recently. It just showed how vulnerable one can be. They were young people with great future awaiting them. So why did God give them so much talents, yet only to claim back in such a short duration?

I have this thought that just flashed across my mind. What would I do if people around me starts to leave me. Perhaps not in a sudden death, but rather just by growing old and pass away as part and parcel of life.

I'm growing older with each minute passed. Time dun stop for anyone. My parents are aging, my niece are schooling soon, my frens are getting married and some even with kids. Suddenly I lost the privilege to cry for things I wan, lost the privilege to throw a tantrum when I'm not happy. In return, I soon to shoulder the responsibilities to take care of my aging parents, to support a family if I consider the norm route to marry and have my own kids. I kinda feel scare.... scare of all these changes and the idea that I would be alone ultimately.

I know I sound pessimistic but dun you ever think about it? I'm not feeling depressed, in fact I'm still playing FB at the same time I'm writing this blog. I guess I'm just openly thinking about life and death. It's not something distant, if you think of the Cambodia incident. It can just happen to anyone, anytime and even when you least expect it.

Nobody can come up to you and offer you an access card to reach age 100yrs together with your kins and friends. Seriously, I wonder what comes after death? A question nobody can answer neither. Would I feel nothing at all? Or would I feel pain and torture because I would not be able to talk, hug or touch anyone I care?

I wish time would stop and things would remain status quo. My parents would be forever staying care of me and my niece ( who will then not grow up). I would always be touring around, shopping, eating, hanging around with my friends. My colleagues will remain the same and we would always be "snaking around" and gossiping. Blah Blah Blah.. ya noe what I meant?

It is a silly thought...

Well, I guess growing up is inevitable. By thinking through and perhaps mentally preparing myself, I hope I can better handle life and death. But I'm just a tiny winy in the universe, I have my limitations. I dun like, but I cant avoid.

In fact, I dun look forward for the future. Dun be mistaken. I rather treasure present time. Come wat may.

flew into your heart at [7:34 PM]

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Monday, November 26, 2007

Bangkok

Cant Go
Too Expensive To Go

Discourage To Go

All Negatives

Maybe I Shdnt Suggest To Go?

It's nothing big deal.

Just that it would be much sweeter if..

Wanna Go?

Invite To Go

Ask To Go

All Positives

I can decide for myself then whether it's worth it

Now, mood dampen..so

No Mood To Go

flew into your heart at [11:18 AM]

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