*____don't worry, i'm watching over you___

Sunday, July 23, 2006

A very LONG blog

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Dunno why am I the only person to be left out. Is it due to the previous incident whereby I backed out and decided to go again because I had nothing to do? I admit the previous incident was purely my selfish acts. But to be judged "lifetime sentence" because of one single incident is simply too merciless.

Perhaps I think too much? Yet I dun like to be given no choice and the decision made by someone else other than myself. Nobody knows myself best, and why should a decision not decided by me? Please dun think that you know me well and decide my likings or dislikings. I beg for the difference. Having a choice and decided no, is better than your one-side thinking that I wont like and not telling me at all. See the difference?

It sure doesnt feel good when I realise that I'm been " left out",whether it's intentionally or not. So in the end, the intended goodwill backfired.

I appreciate openness and the option to make decisions...

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I wish my Knight will stand up for me, or rather stay by my side. Okay, another selfish thinkings BUT it's only a wish. Not something I will insist..

SIGHHHHH...It's making me unbalanced because I always have two school of thoughts : THE RATIONAL & THE REAL ME. Blame it on my horoscope ----> VIRGO. But it's a total conflict with my character! I'm like a little princess who wants her Knight to always think for her, even at the extent of ignoring the commoners. But daydreaming is one thing, reality is another and I truely comprehend that. What do I end up with? An inner struggle.. It's like I cant be angry with him coz he does nothing wrong at all, yet I feel "abandoned" (to a lesser tone).

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I really dunno how to handle gals. Sound weird? Apparently, I dun have many close gal frens. I have gal frens whom if I dun contact them, they will simply leave it as it is. On the other hand, guy frens are better...least they will think of me when they wanna have dinner or just to meet up.

Perhaps gers prefer the attention rather than giving attention. But it's tiring, when I am always the one giving in. Well I'm oso a gal what... why everytime me got to submit in?

Or perhaps the problem lies with me huh? cant be all my gal frens are attention seeking right? But what's the problem? *BLUR,CONFUSED, PERPLEXED*

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flew into your heart at [10:24 AM]

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